we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
