The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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