chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
