we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
