ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
