i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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