According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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