I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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