paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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