Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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