if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"it" just moved
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
