According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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