I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there was a trapeze. enough said
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
