very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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