Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
