Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
