Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
