Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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