why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
