Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They took my balls.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
