I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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