I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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