Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
