She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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