I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
