so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Quick, to the slutcave!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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