I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
