I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
