Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
