Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
