I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize