girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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