i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
