I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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