The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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