And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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