Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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