how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
