Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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