Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
