I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
