from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
