I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
