She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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