You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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