is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
