he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
