And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
