he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
