You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
