Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
