i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
