If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
