Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
