Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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