i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
