I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
