After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
