i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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