i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
