They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
