fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
