can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We need to get me chipped asap
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
