Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
